Does it have to be the best?
Do you see patterns in your day to day working ? I used to be young and naive. Now I am young and a little less naive. I have started seeing patterns in my day to day working and how I work. There’s an approach to everything I do which could be different from any other individual, but it’s almost same everytime I do it. There’s a pattern we do things. Take any task, do it for 100 times, you would be amazed to find out that your approach almost remains the same. We have created this identity with a very strong belief system, which doesn’t break until we start looking at it from different angles. To come out of this identity, this pattern, we need a lot more than just contemplating about our own thoughts.
I have recently started taking a careful look at this thought of identity and patterns in thoughts I have. It’s like there’s two of me. One is constantly rushing through things, the life and daily action items, and the other one is sitting or walking with the rushful me as a shadow and listing things down on a piece of paper. This ‘other me’ is an observer, which sits quietly and observes things from a very close mirror.
So recently I have come to this realisation that most of the time the only thing blocking me from starting something is trying to be the best on that. The feeling of not doing something with my utmost intensity and expectation derails me. Hence there are things I don’t event try, because I know I have the capability to do it at the best of my ability, however because of different things on my plate I won’t be able to give enough time to this and hence the results would be mediocre. So, I don’t even try.
But. But. What if ? I just give it a try, I do mediocre things for a while and then it will come to me at a distant land and time in future? Correct ?
I then might take the same amount of mediocre time to do the same activity at the best of my abilities. Take for an example — this piece of article which I wrote. If I strive to be the best without even trying, would I ever be the best ? Don’t think so. I got to try, make a mess of these story telling, and may maybe one fine day you as a reader might actually be interested and read the entire piece I have written.
As I said, I have been contemplating, perceiving my own thoughts and actions through ‘the other me’ because ‘the me’ gets distracted a lot and ‘the me’ has got biased opinions and ‘the me’ is not used to talk about difficult things which questions my identity itself. So, ‘the other me’ — the shadow of me is helping me understand myself better. I got to be honest, I am not there yet because ‘the me’ takes over the shadow. It’s a process , it doesn’t come easily, I am on the journey to see through myself and understand this identity I have created. Maybe a few more drinks and age by my side , I will be better equipped to look, and tweak a few patterns I don’t like about the identity I have.
